


You've Got Mail

by YamiTasher



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: (not sorry), Angst with a Happy Ending, Geoff is so done with this curse shit, Geoff isn't exactly...alive...in this, Humor (hopefully), Hurt/Comfort, Jeremy is a bit lonley, Jeremy-centric, Somewhere, Uh touching on some heavy themes such as murder and attempted murder but nothing graphic, also, also some blood in there, and a curse, i don't wanna give too much away, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-04
Updated: 2016-04-04
Packaged: 2018-05-31 07:35:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6461482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YamiTasher/pseuds/YamiTasher
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was 5:03 am when Jeremy's eyes snapped open, wide-awake and alarmed.<br/>There had been a loud noise in his room, he was certain of it. The adrenalin crashing through his system was telling him so.<br/>He flew into a sitting position, glancing wildly around his mostly-dark room. Lights! Cursing himself, Jeremy flailed his hand near his lamp desperately until he caught the cord and clicked the light on.</p>
<p>His eyes immediately locked onto the deadened ones of the bloody man standing next to his shelves.<br/>The man looked sheepish, as though he hadn't meant to knock over Jeremy's wooden owl ornament he'd been gifted via his mother that one Christmas.<br/>The unwelcome stranger blinked slowly, and Jeremy took it as a sign to scream very loudly.<br/>There was nothing manly about it either. Just a flat-out screech of terror that could've gone supersonic had it not been for the fact that Jeremy's vocal cords couldn't actually reach those pitches anymore.</p>
<p>"Jesus dude, that's loud as dicks! Quieten down before the entire neighborhood comes to investigate!"</p>
            </blockquote>





	You've Got Mail

**Author's Note:**

> Dear Reader,
> 
> My first AH fic! :D It's been a long time since I wrote fanfiction, so I hope this has turned out well. If you liked it, please let me know - even a kudos will be greatly appreciated and you will make my day <3  
> If I've missed any spelling errors or punctuation feel free to point it out to me, I don't mind. Constructive criticism welcome. Now, onwards my friends! To the story!

You’ve Got Mail

 

18th March 2016  
3:26 am

Jeremy’s eyes were itching more than enough to be annoying. He should have gone to bed 4 hours ago when he was sleepy but damn if Minecraft wasn't an addictive game. He'd wasted hours trying to replicate a level of Super Mario Brothers and he hadn't even been halfway done when he'd caught sight of the time gently ticking away on his bedside clock.  
That explained why he needed to pee so badly.

Groaning loudly, Jeremy stretched his tired body, levered it off his bed, and stumbled his way to the bathroom to relieve himself. By the time he got back it was 3:31 am – maybe it was time to turn in. He'd carry on another time. Probably when there was a next update to the game to entice him to open it again.  
Jeremy closed the game and nearly went to shut down his laptop when he decided to do one last check to his email account. No harm in it, just in case he missed something important.  
What he found was junk, junk, and more disappointing junk. One titled email simply said the word GEOFFREY in caps.  
Jeremy scrunched his nose and squinted suspiciously at the screen, talk about a weird title for an email - did he even know a Geoffrey? He racked his brains and came up with nothing. Maybe it was sent to his email address by mistake.  
Jeremy's mouse was hovering over the select button, ready to throw the email into the rubbish bin with all the others, when he accidentally clicked it open instead.  
Up popped the email contents in all of its glory:

_My name is Geoffrey. I am 41 years old and have short black hair. NOW THAT YOU HAVE BEGAN READING THIS YOU CANNOT STOP!!!_  
_I was murdered on October 31st with my Father's shotgun and butcher knife. If you do not send this to 300 friends, I will come to your house in the middle of the night and kill you with my Father's shotgun and butcher knife. You have 1 hour to--_

Jeremy stopped reading with a roll of his eyes. Amazing. The story had surely gripped him in an icy terror, whatever shall he do?  
He took out the metaphorical trash with an exasperated sigh and a decisive click of the mouse.

He shook his head slowly; chain mails sure weren't as fun as they used to be. Where was all the blood and misspelling? Where was the scary picture? What a poor excuse of a chain mail, so lazily done. He chuckled aloud, closing everything down and beginning to shut off the laptop. God he was so tired, why did birds have to sing so loudly?! It wasn't even really light outside yet!  
Groaning, Jeremy tucked his laptop away with a slight shiver - the room seemed colder now than it had been 5 minutes ago - and flopped into bed to huddle up under the duvet.  
His heavy eyelids blinked sluggishly a few times before closing completely and allowing Jeremy to drift off.

 

                                                                                                                ~*~*~*~*~*~

 

It was 5:03 am when Jeremy's eyes snapped open, wide-awake and alarmed.  
There had been a loud noise in his room, he was certain of it. The adrenalin crashing through his system was telling him so.  
He flew into a sitting position, glancing wildly around his mostly-dark room. Lights! Cursing himself, Jeremy flailed his hand near his lamp desperately until he caught the cord and clicked the light on.

His eyes immediately locked onto the deadened ones of the bloody man standing next to his shelves.  
The man looked sheepish, as though he hadn't meant to knock over Jeremy's wooden owl ornament he'd been gifted via his mother that one Christmas.  
The unwelcome stranger blinked slowly, and Jeremy took it as a sign to scream very loudly.  
There was nothing manly about it either. Just a flat-out screech of terror that could've gone supersonic had it not been for the fact that Jeremy's vocal cords couldn't actually reach those pitches anymore.

"Jesus dude, that's loud as dicks! Quieten down before the entire neighborhood comes to investigate!"

Hearing the man speak only made Jeremy panic more and although he'd stopped screaming, he was now ungracefully scrambling around on his bed in an effort to get as far away from him as possible. Uncontrollable words spilled from his hysterical lips like a tap that was accidentally left running in the next room and forgotten about.

"Wha-?! Oh my gOD WHO ?? WHO ARE YOU?! WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY BEDROOM??! MY HOUSE? MY LIFE?! Oh my _god_ ohmygod is that blood?!! Are you covered in _bLOOD?!_ IS THAT A GUN IN YOUR HAND?!??! OH GOD DON'T KILL ME I SWEAR JESUS JUST TAKE WHAT YOU WANT AND GO--!!"

"I came for you, dumbass. And stop shouting already - you're doing my ears in."

Jeremy stilled, duvet still tangled around his legs, arms hugging his pillow, fingers digging into the material so hard it was surprising it hadn't ripped under the pressure. His brain stuttered to a stop, restarted, and then fizzled out, leaving him gaping like a goldfish and staring uncomprehendingly at the man.

"W-What??"

The man shifted where he stood, Jeremy watching him like a falcon, eyes nervously flickering down to the shotgun the man was holding and then back up again. Small beads of sweat began collecting on his brow. He locked eyes with the other and the man raised an eyebrow, snorting humorlessly.

"Didn't you read the email? I told you: If you don't send me on to 300 friends within an hour then I'd come for you.”

Jeremy paused. What was this weirdo talking about?! Email??  
It suddenly clicked and Jeremy gasped loudly, eyes widening dramatically. No fucking way! That shitty chain mail thing had --- had come TRUE?! What the hell? What – What was happening with his life right now for this to happen? It had to be a prank, right?

“I don’t even **HAVE** 300 friends!” Jeremy yelled frantically, heart in his throat as he chucked the nearest solid object at the man in the hopes of somehow scaring him away.  
His alarm clock sailed through the air a short distance before being brutally yanked back by the cord still attached to the wall, smashing instead into the floor like a failed plot twist.  
Jeremy and the man stared at it silently.

“Well that was anticlimactic.” The man commented mildly, scratching his cheek and accidentally smearing blood from his fingers across it. He sighed and dropped his shotgun onto the floor abruptly, causing Jeremy to let out a short shriek of fear.

“Relax dude, it’s not loaded.”

“I – What? What are you doing here? Who are you?”

The man squinted at him, agitation written all over his face. In the light, he looked a lot more tired than scary; his hair looked less as though it’d been dragged out of the grave with him and more like simple bedhead, his droopy eyes and mustache making him look like he was about to fall asleep where he stood. Even his extremely bloody clothes looked rumpled from tossing and turning.  
This man was a mess. In more ways than one.

“Did you really not read the email? I’m Geoff – Geoffrey in the email. And I already told you I’m here because you didn’t forward it on. Gotta clean out your ears man. Pay attention to what I’m saying, y’know?”

 Jeremy sucked in a sharp breath, trying to calm his hammering heart. Okay. So. This man was the dude from the email. The one who got shot by his dad or something. He could…he could deal with this. No biggy.

“You threw the gun on the floor and said it wasn’t loaded.” Jeremy stated cautiously.  
Geoff’s eyes lit up.

“So you can pay attention to what I say! Hey, congrats man. Yeah, I ain’t here to kill you, just in case you haven’t picked up on that bit yet.”

“Then…” Jeremy blinked, nonplussed, “Why _are_ you here?”

There was a beat of silence and then Geoff threw back his head and giggled hysterically, actually slumping down onto the floor to continue cackling. The laugh was something infectious – Jeremy couldn't help grinning, if a tad sheepishly.

“You – You want me to kill you or something dude?! What a dumb question!” Geoff howled, continuing to laugh but slowing down now to quiet chuckles. He stretched his legs out in front of him and leaned back on the shelves, wiping small tears from his eyes.  
Jeremy’s eyes followed the intricate patterns of Geoff’s arm tattoos and he felt slightly stupid. What an idiotic question, how embarrassing. He shrugged a shoulder and shrunk into his pillow a bit, feeling small.

“I- I did read that email. Most of it anyway. I just didn't… I mean, it’s just a dumb chain message, right? Who even believes those things?!”

Jeremy lightly defended himself, for his pride more than anything else and Geoff snorted, idly stroking his fallen wooden owl ornament and getting blood all over it. Jeremy quietly hoped the blood wouldn't stain – he liked that ornament.

“I’ve refused to forward loads of them over the years with zero consequences – why is it working now? How was I to know?” Jeremy continued, gaining confidence now. He was pretty sure Geoff wasn’t lying and didn’t have an intention of killing him. With that little piece of information, Jeremy felt a lot more light-hearted about the bizarre situation.  
Geoff hummed thoughtfully, eyes flicking to the ceiling briefly before shrugging.

“Fair play. I guess one of the ones you did forward protected you from the occasions where you didn’t forward it on.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean,” Geoff sighed, gesturing vaguely with a hand, “Those ‘dumb chain messages’ aren’t as zero consequence as you think they are. You’ve forwarded one before, right?”

“Yeaahh….so?”

“It must’ve protected you then. Given you good luck or something.”

Jeremy frowned lightly, leaning forwards to see Geoff better.  
“Are you saying that chain messages are actually real? Like, if I forward one that says I’m gonna find $100 – that’ll happen?”

Geoff shrugged again. “Something like that, yeah.” He drawled, “I’m not saying that’s _exactly_ what will happen – look at me for example; supposed to be murdering you right now, yeah? But something good would happen to you at some point.”

“So you’re saying I must’ve forwarded a chain message that…protected me against bad things?”

“Pretty much dude.”

“Huh.”

They sat in companionable silence. Jeremy staring shamelessly at Geoff in interest, Geoff inspecting the room around him.

“You got an Xbox to go with those games?”

Geoff suddenly piped up, nodding at the neat stack of bright green cases in the corner.

“Uh, yeah of course.”

Jeremy jumped slightly when Geoff leisurely got to his feet and ambled over to the games, beginning to thumb through them, eyes bright with interest. Curious, Jeremy slowly lowered his pillow and crawled across his bed, nearer to Geoff. Up close, he looked like any normal human…minus the blood.  
A thought occurred to Jeremy and he hesitated to voice it…

“That email…”  
                      “Hmm?”  
“The email mentioned something…did he – your father – did he really…kill you?”

Geoff fell still and silent, a faraway look drifting onto his face, ageing it several years. Jeremy felt a twinge of regret at asking such a personal question, the forlorn and sad expression on Geoff’s face didn’t feel right, didn’t belong there. He didn’t want to see it on the man’s face ever again.

“Nevermind, I’m sorry.” Jeremy apologized, not quite knowing what else to do. Hopelessly he gestured to the forgotten games, “You picked something yet? Xbox isn’t gonna play itself.”

Geoff seemed to snap back into himself, a lazy grin spreading across his face, his half-lidded eyes giving him an endearingly dopey expression.  
Jeremy decided he liked that look on Geoff’s face much more than the other one.

 

                                                                                                            ~*~*~*~*~*~

 

“HA! Suck a dick dude, I win again!!”  Geoff crowed boisterously, shoving Jeremy’s shoulder playfully. Jeremy whined lowly about the various spots of blood now smeared across most of his shoulder and arm – even his face! There had to be a way around this or he’d be washing his clothes for a week straight in an attempt to get rid of the stains.  
Also, he had no idea why Geoff was so good at GTA V but it sucked ass.

“Stop sniping me!” Jeremy cried out in frustration – this was the fifth time Geoff had taken him out. “We’re supposed to be on the same team!”

“I know.” Geoff cackled, “But it’s funny to watch you try to defend yourself.”

Jeremy huffed quietly, pouting as he urged his character to run away from his lunatic teammate.

“Hey.” Jeremy said suddenly, straightening up and turning his head to look at Geoff with a grin on his face, “Do’u think this counts as killing me?”

Geoff’s face went blank for a second before lighting up in delight and another contagious bark of laughter slips from his lips as he answers,  
“Sure man, why not?”

And then Jeremy was yelling out in frustration as Geoff’s character blew his up with a well-aimed missile.  
Even as Jeremy shouted at him, questioning where he even got that missile – even as Geoff dissolved into peals of laughter – he noted how comfortable he felt around the dead man, and he wondered how long Geoff would be staying with him.

He asked.

Geoff stared at him, the echoes of his laughter fading quietly from his face, replaced with shock. Geoff licked his lips and furrowed his brow lightly, a confused expression drifting onto his face now.

“What’re you asking? You want me to stay?”

 Jeremy shrugged lightly,  
“I’m just sayin’ it’s cool if you wanna hang around here for a while. I don’t have any roommates or anything so you don’t have to worry about hiding from them, and you can play games for as long as you want – just don’t push up my electricity bill too much, okay? And we could probably get you some new clothes ‘cause your ones look like you’ve slept in them for a year, and –.”  
                                            “Woah woah woah!! Hold on a tick dude you’re losing me here.”

Geoff cut across him, tossing his controller onto the seat next to him and turning to give his full attention to the not-babbling-anymore Jeremy.  
Jeremy met his eyes steadily as Geoff searched them, looking for the truth. He whistled lowly and sank back into the sofa cushions wearily, looking old again.

“You’re serious? You actually want me to stay around? Me. The dead guy from the chain message who was supposed to kill you but didn’t ‘cause that shit got real boring real fast. I mean, if you’ve been around as long as I have you just lose interest after a few years or so. It’s easier to mess up someone’s room, leave a couple of bloody handprints on their windows and shit like that. Proper freaks them out y’know.”

Geoff falls silent, realizing he was going off on a tangent and avoiding giving his opinion or an answer. Jeremy continued to sit there patiently, staring him down quietly. He sighs heavily, years of feelings, experiences and memories weighing him down, crushing his shoulders. He blinked slowly, a small non-committal noise escaping his mouth.

“I can’t.”

Is what Geoff says eventually, tone bitter. Jeremy almost feels let down with the response – it sounds so – so…defeated.

“Why not?” He asks bluntly. He’s not sure why he want’s Geoff to stay so badly, maybe it’s because Geoff is new and interesting and easy to get along with. Maybe it’s because he feels guilty for bringing up the whole ‘is your dad your murderer?’ thing.  
Maybe he’s just lonely and appreciates the company.  
It all boils down to the same thing – he wouldn’t mind Geoff staying. Except for the whole blood-constantly-getting-on-everything bit.  
Beside him, Geoff sighs again.

“Because I’m bound to the chain mail message. I go where it goes. I’ll be gone before the day is over and there’s nothing you can do. Sorry bud, but that’s just the way it is.”

Jeremy thinks furiously but can come up with nothing, and now he is the one feeling defeated. Frustrated, he glues his eyes back onto the TV screen and viciously blows up a parked car with a Molotov cocktail he was holding in his inventory. Geoff chuckles tiredly,

“Nice aim.”

Jeremy relaxes slightly, grinning,  
“Thanks.”

The silence is tinged with something neither of them could describe. Something blue and weightlessly heavy.

“Hey,” Geoff pips up after a while of them running around terrorizing other people in the game, “Wanna know how I died?”

His tone is light, but resigned, the slightest hints of bitterness bleeding into it. Jeremy nods silently, knows Geoff saw it when the man puts down his controller and leans back.

“Wait. You got any beer or something?” Geoff asks suddenly, shooting back up. “Haven’t had a good drink in forever.”

Jeremy laughs shortly, getting up,  
“Sure thing, hang on.”

He comes back with two cold beers taken straight from the fridge and they clink bottles in mock-celebration. Although quite what they were celebrating was lost on Jeremy. Geoff leans back again, getting comfortable. Jeremy mirrors him.

“It was a long time ago –,”  
                                        “In a galaxy far far away?”

Geoff pauses and then laughs loudly at Jeremy’s attempt to lighten the mood. They chuckle together for a few seconds before Geoff sobers up – but Jeremy can see a small twinkle in his eye that says he’s still amused.

“Right. Well, long ago I was still alive. Had a wife, a decent job, a house. I had it all, even a bun in the oven, y’know?” Geoff stares at the opposite wall, a soft faraway fond expression gracing his face. “She was everything to me. Beautiful, artistic, and kind-hearted. Griffin was – is – her name. And she could be as fierce as one too. I often wondered how I had been so lucky to have her.”

Geoff was alive. Metaphorically speaking. His eyes ablaze with a fiery, eternal love, his grin came easy, nose scrunching with the force of it, the corners of his eyes crinkling fondly.  
Jeremy waited for the axe to fall, and it did with Geoff’s next sentence.

“He went after her with a butcher’s knife. Her and the unborn baby.”

Jeremy sucks in a breath, hoping – praying – this won’t go where he’s dreading it will.

“I stopped it. He wasn’t going to get to her even if it was the last thing I did!” Geoff sneered, hatred seeping deeply into every line on his face. “Got stabbed in the shoulder in the process but it was worth it – anything to protect them. I disarmed him, even managed to get him back. I asked her to run; I wanted her as far away as possible.”

Geoff sighs quietly, taking a heavy swig of his beer,  
“That was the last time I saw her. I died soon after that. He’d gone for his gun after realizing he couldn’t get his knife back – we struggled – he won. End of story.”

Jeremy let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding,  
“And Griffin? What happened to her? Do you know?”

Geoff’s eyes flick to him and he smiles gently.  
“She survived. Just because he killed me, didn’t mean I didn’t get him back.”

The implications behind the words send a shiver down Jeremy’s spine, the steely look in Geoff’s eyes steering him away from asking how, exactly, did he get him back.

“That’s…that’s quite a story.” There are a dozen questions burning a hole in his tongue, things he wants to ask but isn’t brave enough, reluctant to dig any deeper, to make Geoff think about what happened any more than he has to.  
Maybe another time.

 There’s silence again as the two of them finish off their beers. Geoff cracks his knuckles lazily as Jeremy switches off the Xbox, neither of them in the mood anymore to continue playing.  
Geoff grins lightly, gazing at Jeremy in amusement.

“Tired?”

“Yeah.” Jeremy breaths, body heavy and eyes tired again.  
“Being awoken so suddenly and so early with barely an hour of sleep will do that to a person.” He chuckles quietly.

Geoff rolls his eyes,  
“Don’t sass me dude. You were the one who didn’t forward the chain mail!”

“I’m glad.”  
Jeremy smiles at him honestly and Geoff looks surprised for a second before his expression melts into easy-going happiness.

“Yeah, me too.” He replies softly, breathing the words into the air like fine mist on an early morning winters day.

“You’re going soon, aren’t you.” Jeremy states, the words not a question because of the inevitable answer. Geoff nods silently.  
Words are not needed, and time – the world – stops, allowing them to have this moment.

It’s broken when Jeremy gets up to go to bed, fully intending to sleep the day away and mess up his internal clock. He turns away from Geoff, heavy footsteps leading him to the doorway and pausing.  
He turns, and grins at the bloody figure of Geoff lounging on his sofa.

“Seeya around then, Geoffrey. Take care.”

Geoff snorts.  
“Take care of yourself kid.”  
                                          “Jeremy.”

It’s the first time either of them has realized Jeremy never introduced himself. Time fly’s when you’re having fun, no?  
The corners of Geoff’s eyes crinkle fondly,

“Jeremy.” He corrects himself, and Jeremy feels a warm companionable glow inside his chest from hearing his name said in Geoff’s voice.

“Lil J.” Geoff improvises suddenly, laughing. Jeremy snorts and shakes his head.

“I’m not that short man!” He argues playfully, mulling the nickname over in his mind and filing it away.

“Hell yeah you are! You’re short as dicks!”

“Fuck you Geoff.”

He can hear Geoff’s boisterous laughter echoing loudly down the hallway with him as Jeremy turns tail and heads back to his bedroom.

 

                                                                                                 ~*~*~*~*~*~

 

25th March  
2:54 am

It was probably because he hadn’t had much sleep during the past week that he was trying this.  
Geoff was long gone. Had been all week.  
But here Jeremy sat, eyes glued to his laptop screen as he tiredly began creating another email account. Jotting down the chosen email and password for it so he didn’t instantly forget it.  
He didn’t even know if this was going to work.  
It was worth a shot though, right?

3:00 am  
He logged out of his new account to log back into his old account, searching through his deleted emails for the one that had changed his life. It wasn’t hard to miss, the expressive use of caps lock making the email more visible from all the others. Jeremy ran a hand down his tired face, suppressing a yawn as he forwarded the email.  
He logged out of his account and back into his new one.

3:08 am  
And there it was, sitting innocently in his shiny new inbox. GEOFFREY.  
He clicked on it, seeing the contence open on his screen, humming quietly to himself as he skimmed some of it.

3:10 am  
He clicked delete.

Jeremy abandoned his laptop, a fragile kind of hope blooming in his chest. To escape it, he crawled into bed and allowed sleep to claim him.  
Or tried to anyway. Despite being so tired, he couldn’t quite fall asleep and only managed to drift off lightly, waking back up again at every mildly loud noise.

4:10 am  
He groggily woke back up again for what felt like the 54th time. What noise was it this time? A cat outside? A dog’s distant bark? A car going past? A bottlecap hitting something wooden?

The last suggestion made him pause and force his eyes to focus as he struggled to sit up. Did he…really hear that?  
He turned his head towards his desk, the dim glow of the laptop illuminating a lone bottlecap on the desk. He groped for the bedside light, his new alarm clock informing him it was 13 past 4 in the morning, and clicked it on.  
Immediately, from across the room, they locked eyes. One pair widened in victory and astonishment, the other in mild surprise before crinkling fondly at the edges.

“Hey Lil J.”

“Sup Geoffrey.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, it means a lot to me. Once again, if you liked it please let me know!  
> This can be read as a stand-alone, but I'm quietly thinking of continuing it and making it a series. Maybe. If I have the time and motivation! haha  
> Thanks for stopping by!
> 
> Best Wishes,  
> Kat


End file.
